Sunday, August 7, 2011

RIP BAby - 8/7/2011

Baby was an amazing cat. She was a sweet, darling girl who loved to play and cuddle (as long as it was on her terms). She was my angel, my little girl, and I miss her terribly. She was 9 years old, and she died in my arms this morning around 9:30am.

I moved to Minnesota, and boarded her for 28 days while I moved all my stuff to Minnesota and spent a few weeks in California. She'd seen a little off and I'd assumed it was because I was packing everything up and moving. Unbeknownst to me, her diabetes was out of remission. They kept telling me that she was fine, etc., until July 20 (27 days after bringing her there), saying she'd started drinking a lot of water and that her diabetes was back. I visited her 2 days before my cats and I came to Minnesota, and she looked so skinny and sick... I just thought I was being paranoid - she was boarded at her vet, they took care of her, how could she be sick? She didn't eat for days after getting here, and I took her to the U of M Vet Medical Center. She was very dehydrated and very sick. They kept her overnight. We (the vets and myself) discovered that the results of some of the $500 worth of tests the vet in IL did showed her diabetes had been back in June when I dropped her off - it went untreated for almost her entire visit. As a result, she lost 2 lbs while there (something that their records actually show because they weighed her twice) and they apparently just... didn't notice. Because her diabetes went untreated, she developed a SEVERE urinary tract infection - one we suspect that spread to her kidneys.

At U of M, she was doing better. Eating, drinking... better. We came home and she didn't eat like she had been at the vet, but I tried a bunch of different foods, and she seemed to be more herself, so I was so hopeful. We tried an appetite stimulant, and she still wasn't eating. I awoke yesterday (roughly 1.5 weeks after being at U of M and 2.5 weeks from leaving IL) and there was feces all over the floor. She'd tried to use the litter box, but... I still didn't think too much of it, and I went to the store to get steam cleaner formula. I cleaned the floors and gave her a bath, because the fecal matter was all in her fur. Finished, though while still in the tub, she just... lay on me. Her breathing wasn't right, and I got concerned. I set her out on the bathmat and she just.... laid there. No cleaning, grooming, or drying. I immediately called the 24 hr service, and headed to St. Paul. When we got there, I found out her temp was 20 or so degrees below normal, her heart rate and blood pressure where dangerously low, and she had apparently gone blind in the last week. My poor, poor scared Baby. I left her in their capable hands and headed the 2 hrs back home. Almost home, they called and said that while her temperature was slowly rising and her eyes had started to respond to light, they couldn't raise her heart rate and blood pressure, and they weren't sure if she would live through the night. A couple hours later, the ER vet called for an update and said that her condition had gone from critical to grave - she just wasn't getting better, and with all they were doing, that was very, very bad.

I drove back to St. Paul and they let me spend 30 minutes with her (they'd said 10) and I got a nearby hotel so I could be there if anything happened. At this time, it was 5 am. At 8:30 or so, I got a phone call from her regular vet there, saying he was so, so sorry. She wasn't getting better and her kidneys had shut down. Trying to fix the kidneys lowered her blood pressure and trying to fix her blood pressure hurt her kidneys. I asked if, at this point, there was any hope. We made the decision that the only humane thing to do was put her down, because she was just suffering. She'd gone blind because her blood pressure was so low, so I don't know if could even see me as I held her poor, broken and bloody (they'd put in a lot of IVs) body in my arms as the loving doctor administered the injections. I kept telling her that I was sorry - I trusted them and they killed her, I thought she was getting better and she was getting so much worse.

I feel so guilty for not noticing that she wasn't eating anything - I thought she was eating when I wasn't in my room. She got so dehydrated, but I thought she was drinking enough because she always had water on her chinny chin (she drank funny), so I thought she was ok. I feel like I failed her for not knowing she was getting worse, for not being able to save her. I keep asking myself if there was anything I could have done, if I truly did everything I could. If I hadn't moved, would I have been more concerned and not written it off as her being moody? Should I have been more cautious and taken her back to the vet sooner? I know I did more than a lot of people would have, both money and time... but did I truly do my best? I'm hoping that the necropsy will bring answers. I set and I agonize that I should have known sooner, I should have done something sooner - all those "what if's" that can't be answered. In time I'll be ok. In time I'll feel less helpless. In time I hope I'll blame myself less.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

It's been a while... and I HATE people who talk in movie theaters.

My best friend and a mutual friend and I all went to see "Horrible Bosses" - funny movie by the way - and the lady sitting to the right of me insisted on having her phone on vibrate. Now I understand that vibrate is technically less quiet than ringing, but me talk to you during the movie is less quiet than me screaming in your face.

Vibrate is NOT a silent function. If a phone vibrates in a pocket in a silent room, it DOES make a sound. Moreso if you're a female and have your vibrating phone in a purse full of your useless crap (ok, it also makes more sound if you're a male and it's in your purse). A vibrating, purse bound phone is still loud, and still obnoxious. Pulling it out, opening it up - ya know, so that the light from your undimmed screen illuminates 5 seats on either side of you - checking to see who it is (uh.. isn't that why you have a flip phone? So you can see WITHOUT FLIPPING IT OPEN!!?), and then turning to your man companion and saying "It was mom".... yeah. That's not ok. Why pull it out unless you were going to turn it to SILENT? Are you telling me there's a call that would have been so urgent you would have answered in the theater? If you are expecting or waiting for a call that urgent, I'd actually think maybe going to the movies is not the best way to spend your time. Ya know, because you might have to get up in the middle of it?

This lady's phone actually went off 3+ times during the movie. Three. Not only is she apparently a neurosurgeon who can't afford to be incommunicado for 2 hours, but she felt the need to carry on conversations. I'll admit it, I've talked during movies. It's a terrible habit I've learned from my mother, but it's generally along the lines of "Stupid," "That's a really bad idea!" Ya know, stuff that actually pertains to the movie. I don't mean to, it's just a reactionary thing - though I have gotten much better. I've also asked questions to friends around, like, "... wait, she's WHOSE second-cousin's long-lost niece?!" This woman, however, felt the need to carry on conversations that had NOTHING to do with the movie whatsoever. I was highly annoyed.

I really wish I had the testicular fortitude to turn to this woman and say "Listen. SHUT UP. I don't care about your conversations, I just want to watch this movie. Please shut up. PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" But I didn't. I sat, hoping she'd just shut up on her own and that I wouldn't have to make a bigger scene. I didn't want to make a scene, I just... I just am sick and tired of people crapping all over others and being incredibly inconsiderate.

Friday, January 21, 2011


So I like the cold as much as the next person, perhaps more, because I have adorable boots and sweaters that I can't wear in July. However, a confluence of factors have determined that I'm going to spent the day in bed/in a bath.

I've spent most of the week sick - only managing to get to class yesterday - and I feel terrible. I was hoping since I felt better yesterday, I was in good shape for today. Unfortunately, I feel even worse and have spent at least 5 minutes of my morning curled in a ball, crying in pain. My stomach's killing me - BOO.

While sitting on the couch looking at news stories before going to curl in the bath, I discovered that which determined I am not going to try and go to the doctor today, I'm gonna stay inside and hide. It's -9 right now, with a windchill of -22. Uh. No. I reject that temperature, and will NOT be going outside, ha. I'm going to go find and put on some socks/a sweatshirt on top of the sweatpants/shirt I've already got, because BRRRR.

So yeah, while I love the cold as much as the next girl, this is TOO cold. This is hibernation cold. So, apparently I'm going to hibernate.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Who needs rights anyway...

I am a victim of extortion. Why didn't I go to the cops? It's simple, because my extortion is being approved by the state and city governments.

Let me explain. On 12/10, I attended a holiday party, did some errands for my mom, and dropped a friend off at home. I was heading back to Dekalb at around 5:30 am, and approached the intersection of Palatine Rd and Northwest Highway in Palatine. I came to a full and complete stop, made sure there was no traffic (at 5:30? Not a chance), and then proceeded to make a right on red (there was/are no signs saying it was illegal). I received a "Red Light Violation Notice" in the mail today - seemingly from the Village of Palatine. It's actually from the "Village of Palatine Photo Enforcement Program - read "private company that has a contract to issue tickets with the Village of Palatine." In order to contest this ticket, I have to pay money to go to a court hearing or file by mail. However, having done extensive research into these unconstitutional devices, I haven't found a single person who managed to win when contesting by mail, which leaves court. A POLICE OFFICER commented on an article stating that his fellow IL cop received 2 red light violation tickets when a properly marked part of a funeral procession. The officer went to court to contest the ticket (along with the photographs demonstrating that it was properly marked), and the judge ruled against him. Apparently, when contesting these tickets, people are not allowed to a jury trial, and judges are not inclined to fall on the side of justice in these cases. Let me clarify with some statistics - apparently only 2%- 3% of appeals are ever successful. While I would love to believe that (despite the unconstitutional nature) the majority of people who appeal are guilty, the system as designed catches people like me - people who made full and complete stops and then made legal turns but may have done so on/past the white line. Even a number of officers has posted that they feel this is a corrupt system, and that it removes the really necessary aspect of OFFICER DISCRETION. It's like the speed cameras that give you a ticket for 1mph over the limit - yet as one cop pointed out, not all speedometers are calibrated the same, which is why officers would never issues 1mph tickets.

Make no mistake, this "violation" is not criminal - it "is NOT a uniform traffic citation. Payment will not impact your driving privileges or insurance" (though they claim "failure to pay the civil penalty or to contest liability in a timely manner is an admission of liability and may result in a suspension of the driving privileges of the registered owner of the vehicle"). That really frosts my cookies as well, that this camera makes no attempt to determine or photograph the driver - it's instead the "legal" responsibility of ALL registered owners of the car. That's a little, no, a lot bogus. Apparently if you ever want to run a red light, you should do it in a rental car.

These cameras are bogus, and so are the tickets. They violate my constitutional right to confront my accuser - supposedly I broke the law, but the "person" accusing me is a machine. Moreover, supposedly I broke the law, but the "person" I owe restitution to isn't the state or the city, it's to a PRIVATE COMPANY. How does that make ANY sense and how is that in ANY way fair, right, or just? If these cameras were put in and maintained by the police, that'd be different (and closer to constitutional). I wish I had the money to fight this particular ticket, and take this as far up as necessary to get these cameras banned as unconstitutional nation-wide. But I don't, I'm too broke for that. In fact, I'm too broke to pay the $100 "ticket" I was mailed. Yes, you read that correctly, $100 for a "violating" a traffic law (that I didn't violate), payable not to the city whose rules I broke, but to a private corporation who will pocket at least 60% of my "fine." Somehow, I'm charged a civil fine for violating a law, and if I chose not to pay, it gets reported to a credit bureau as debt I owe but won't pay. The problem is that I don't owe them squat, and there's no way to prove it.

I wish I had enough money to stand up for my beliefs and tell the "photo enforcement program" to go to hell, and that they're not allowed to infringe on my rights. Unfortunately, I just have to grin, bear it, and figure out a way to scrape together $100.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Thought-provoking nonsense

This is going to be a hodgepodge of a couple clips and images that I find interesting, or thought-provoking, or worth sharing.

I hope those made you think and made you laugh.

The nerdy English major in me wants to share the following with you.

100 most often mispronounced words:

My man Bo.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Antinette "Toni" Keller was murdered.

The short version:

Her remains were found shortly after she went missing, but they were burned to the point that it wasn't possible to identify them as human until 8 days later - burned to the point where there is no possibility of autopsy.

I'm sitting here, I was supposed to be getting ready for class, but I can't breathe, I can't stop crying, and I'm scared.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

They Found a Body

A press conference was held at 9 pm and Toni's disappearance has been reclassified as a death investigation, and it was reported a body was found in a densely wooded area of the park that Toni was reportedly headed to. They're releasing no information regarding the condition of the remains, but that they appear to have been there since shortly after Toni went missing. They are not saying that it's Toni, but that the items found with the body are consistent with what Toni had when she went missing.

As much as I hope that it's not her, I think that's unrealistic. I'm just hoping it was some sort of a tragic accident and there was nothing nefarious.

May God, whatever god you believe in, watch over the Keller family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.